You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Randomize
