i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
