I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
