Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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