um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
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