Please, let me fuck your mom
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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