Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
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