It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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