it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Randomize
