what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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