Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
