3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
