Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
