His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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