I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
