you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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