Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
