we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
