no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
