The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
