the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I AM VODKA MAN
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
i think im in europe. pls send help
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
