I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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