she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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