I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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