My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
