I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
