she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
