yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
