Soap is not a condiment
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
