its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
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