You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
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