you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
