i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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