oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
