I just made out with a guy for $7.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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