At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
