No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
