Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
