Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
