like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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