My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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