I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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