If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
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