I wish I could teleport
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
