Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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