Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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