Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
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