i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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