I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
