from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
