Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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